


Not Anymore

by RedSnow1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Cute, Destiel - Freeform, End of the World, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Light Angst, M/M, Season 15, Short & Sweet, Supernatural ending, facing god, happy birthday charlotte!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25996510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/pseuds/RedSnow1
Summary: /OS/Dean isn’t scared of dying. He doesn’t care what happens to him (and he should probably be worried about that). He has lived fully — and if he has to die, then he is at peace with that. Everyone has to go some time.No, Dean Winchester is scared of surviving and losing everything else.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Not Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> Just a short story I wrote for my dear friend's birthday! Happy birthday Charlotte! I hope you will enjoy this little story I wrote for you! I wish I had more time to make it better, but oh well!
> 
> Disclaimer : this story was not beta-ed, and since I am french, you might find some mistakes! 
> 
> Enjoy your read!

It is the end of the world. 

They had been threatened with it for too long the sentence has lost its meaning. 

It was the end of the world when Lucifer was around or when Amara came into the big picture. It has been the end of the world for most of their lives, and yet, here they were. 

The end of the line. 

The sky collapsing in on itself. 

Thunder. Rain. Droplets of water cascading down his scarred face, washing away the blood. 

It’s frightening and beautiful at the same time. It’s like the world is shaking under God’s feet, relying on them to save the day.

As always. 

Dean smiles. God is furious, and Dean probably should be worried. But he isn’t. He has dealt with torture and death before. What worse could happen to him? He is not scared of ceasing to exist. Perhaps then, would he know peace? Whatever has to happen will happen. He doesn’t believe in fate, but he knows that he is on a hero’s journey. Those usually don’t end well. What he can do is put up a mighty fight, go down fighting. He wouldn’t die of anything else. And if he can save a few souls along the way, innocent people who have nothing to do with their quest, then he will have won. Chuck wouldn’t be happy about that.

Dean Winchester is not scared of being tortured, to be hurt. And more importantly, he is not afraid of Chuck, despite his power. His ego will get the best of him, if not now, someday. Someday, another hero will rise and kick his butt back into whatever place he first came from. If not today, maybe tomorrow. He must remain faithful. That’s the only thing he has. Well, now that he comes to think about it, maybe it’s not entirely true.

More than faith, he has his family by his side. 

He glances to his right, and he sees his angel standing by his side, his head turned towards the vast sky. Castiel’s face is ever so serious, pained and bloody. His trench coat is torn, muddy. If he could see him every day forever, he would always remember this time. The way his wet hair flies through the wind. The flapping of his trench coat. He is beautiful. Dangerous. Ready to end it once and for all.

Dean smiles sadly. He remembers the first time he met the angel. How cold he looked back there. How fierce. How far they have come. How far Castiel’s loyalty and heart had to lead them. He is different now, maybe for the better. He is caring, kind and considerate. He is everything to him, and so much more. He should probably tell him that, just in case. But the words won’t form in his mouth, and he just stands silent. 

Castiel is facing his father, his creator. How hard that must be for him. Learning that everything he believed in is false. Find out he was put together by the biggest asshole in the universe. But Cas never says anything, putting his beliefs aside and that alone is a proof of how much the angel loves him. Them. The family they have built along the way. And what a glorious way. If he could do it all over again, he would not change one line. It was worth all the suffering, all the pain. It was worth every droplet of blood spilt, every tear shed.

It had led him here. Fighting next to the man who saved him more than once.

His heart clenches. Dean isn’t scared of dying. He doesn’t care what happens to him (and he should probably be worried about that). He has lived fully — and if he has to die, then he is at peace with that. Everyone has to go some time. 

No, Dean Winchester is scared of surviving and losing everything else. Losing Sam, losing Cas. Losing the people who have slowly become his family. Jack, Rowena, Charlie… That would be his hell, and Chuck knows it. And deep down, Dean knows that’s what God is aiming for. If he can’t make it out alive, he will do everything in his power to bring them down. It wouldn’t be the first time nor the last. 

Chuck knows his head will end up on a spike, but there is one last thing he can do. 

He can make the rest of his life a living hell.

"Dean — You are shivering," Cas says, his raspy voice almost covered by the thunderstorm over their heads.

Dean sighs. He hadn’t noticed how cold he is. Is it fear? Something else? He can’t really say. What wouldn’t he give to be safely inside the bunker, warm and cosy, playing poker with his family? It’s too early, or maybe too late. Everyone else has gone to the front, preparing for war. 

It’s just them now. Sam has gone with Rowena to perform another spell that will supposedly help them, and somehow, Dean is grateful that his brother is not around. It will make everything easier. Besides, he is not alone. His guardian angel is standing right beside him, so close he can smell his cologne and the warmth of his skin. His blue eyes feel like home. Should he let him know? Not yet. It’s not over yet. It’s not time to say goodbye. Castiel is turning towards him, searching in his eyes for the answer to a silent question.

_ Are you scared? _

_ Yes _ . Yes, he is. But he would rather die than admit it at loud. He is proud, even before death. But Dean knows that he can’t fool Cas. They know each other too well. Cas is always aware of the racking of his mind, of the emotions swirling inside his brain. Cas understands. Cas doesn’t judge. It’s way more than people usually do. So he shakes his head silently. And the thunder is growling. And the angel reaches for his hand, slowly, their fingers grazing at first. It’s not the first time, nor the last - but it feels different. Dean shivers. He hasn’t been expecting such tenderness from his friend. But he relaxes unto the touch, feeling a warm bubble of happiness grow in his chest. He wants to hold on tighter. He never wants to let go. Because right now, Castiel is the only person keeping him upright, when the world is falling around them.

Their fingers are entwined, as their fate. And it feels just right.

"No. Not anymore." Dean says, avoiding the other man’s eyes.

He knows that if he looks at him, words will spill from his mouth. A cascade of repressed feelings he won’t be able to stop. He knows now is not the time. Will it ever be? There is one way to find out. If they come out alive of this, he promises himself, then he would let Castiel know of his true feelings. But for now, they had more important things to do. 

S aving people, hunting things: the family business.

Dean and Castiel take one confident step onwards, towards God, who is smirking down on them. The sky is at his mercy, and he looks omnipotent, flying around to show off his power.

They don’t have any magical abilities. None that can match God's anyway. But they have each other and that alone makes them the biggest threat the world has ever seen. God should be the one to be scared. Dean smiles, confident, his fingers curling around Cas’ tighter.

A promise.

An encouragement.

They would get out of this. All of them. 

Or they would all perish trying. 

There is no in-between. 

Not anymore. 

And it’s okay.


End file.
